This post’s original conceit** was one-sentence reviews of the musicals I’ve seen to date. I abandoned the idea when I realized I’d watched substantially more musicals than I’d remembered.
**” Original conceit” would be a good name for a metal band that takes itself far too seriously.
Me: OK, so working backwards, I’ve got Next To Normal, Rent…umm…Wicked…The Lion King….
Brain: ALSO LES MIS.
Me: Avenue Q. And that’s it. I can definitely–
Brain: ALSO ASSASSINS.
Me: OK. Assassins. But that’s–
Brain: ALSO ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, ANYTHING GOES, BYE BYE BIRDIE, BARE.
Me: This is getting lengthy. Maybe–
Brain: THE 25TH ANNUAL PUTNAM SPELLING BEE.
Brain: 2008, BABY.
Me: Yeah, it’s…it’s coming back.
Brain: THAT WAS THE YEAR OF THE FIRST IRON MAN FILM. AND ALSO THAT INDIANA JONES MOVIE WHERE SHIA LABEOUF PLAYED A BADASS.
Me: No, I remember the year. I just wasn’t sure about the–
Brain: MICHAEL PHELPS WON A TON OF MEDALS FOR BEING GOOD AT SWIMMING, WHICH HAPPENED BECAUSE HE ATE LOTS OF POTATOES.
Me: I’m reasonably sure that’s not how he–
Brain: ALL THE SINGLE LADIES.
Brain: YOU DECIDED TO DIP, AND NOW YOU WANNA TRIP
Me: Why are you doing this?
Brain: ‘CAUSE ANOTHER BROTHER NOTICED ME
So then I figured I’d write about the fact that no characters in musicals ever ask where the music comes from, or seem alarmed that they’re randomly singing in rhyme. You’d that if everyone around you peppered their conversations with harmony and choreographed dancing, and if you couldn’t even get your morning coffee without an impromptu song breaking out while in line, you might question some things.
But now my brain is happily reliving 2008 television, and it’s going to be some time before it stops broadcasting old episodes of The Soup.