NaNoBlogMo, Day 15 – But what about our house-sized, old-timey vegetarian friends?

Over the past week, some of my friends have begun moving from Twitter over to a similar service called Mastodon, given Twitter’s absolute refusal to ban Nazis and white supremacist accounts–and often banning the victims of said harassment instead. After years of pressure, Twitter finally announced today that it was banning verification for white supremacists, but this doesn’t actually fix the problem, and it’s far too little, too late.

So…now we have Mastodon. It’s too early for me to determine how I feel about the interface, and only a handful of friends are there at this point. I suspect we’re wondering if it’ll turn out like Ello, where we created accounts in opposition to The General State of Facebook, and then never used them.**

**but we still receive weekly emails from the site. “Ah, Ello,” we sigh.

In addition to being a social networking site, there is also a metal band named Mastodon and, as I imagine most people know it, an extinct mammal distantly related to our modern-day elephant. Every time I read the word, I’m reminded of my Houston adventure last year visiting @autojim and @kimpromp2. As part of the expedition, we took in the Houston Museum of Natural Science. I could’ve spent a week just in the dinosaur section alone.

I love dinosaurs. There’s a good chance that you do as well. What’s not to love?

giphy (2).gif
This is the best advertising campaign I’ve seen for an inflatable raft.

And while dinosaurs certainly deserve their fame, we rarely talk about mastodons, saber-toothed tigers, and the giant animals that once roamed our planet. That’s a shame, because they’re fascinating.


prehis armadillo.jpg
This  armadillo would’ve been roughly the same size and weight as a  Volkswagen Beetle. And that wouldn’t have seemed odd. “Oh, there’s Bob, eating his fifth lunch of the–hey, are those MY plants?! GET YOUR OWN, BOB.”

I mean, we’re talking about sloths the size of elephants–20 feet tall, about 9,000 pounds in weight, and they just hung out eating salad and making the other herbivores jealous. Where’s my feature film about that? 

enormous sloth
I know this picture is blurry, which is in part because my phone doesn’t take photos especially well, and partly because I WAS SORT OF IN SHOCK THAT GIANT SLOTHS HAD EVER EXISTED AND NO ONE MENTIONED IT.

While there’s no direct correlation between Mastodon the social network and Mastodon the extinct elephant, the site has me constantly wondering what the giant sloths would tweet, what would be going on their corner of the Internet.

“Seriously, what’s wrong with you, Eugene? The dress is BLUE.”

And I appreciate it.


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