Psssst. Hey you. Yes, YOU there, with the low-rent nostrils. Of course I’ve noticed you; so has every Canine-American on this block, what with all that hullabaloo erupting from your nose! And what type of return do you get for all that sniffling and snuffling? Whatever flimflammer sold you that piece of junk ought to be strung up by his peddler’s license!
Fortunately for you, promotional pricing on our entire line of olfactory upgrades is in effect until tomorrow! You seem like a well-read, attractive person of above-average intelligence, so you’ve certainly heard that my sense of smell is at least 10,000 times better than yours. Some researchers believe it’s up to 100,000. I’m able to detect a teaspoon of sugar in a million gallons of water. If you set two million apple barrels in front of me and only a single apple was rotten, my nose would find it.
Listen: canine to human, we both know you want in on this, so how’s about you invite me in and we’ll get started with some nose fittings?
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